Stories, we’ve all heard them, we all tell them and we all have one! We’ve listened to (and told!) the good, the bad and even the ugly ones and what is obvious is that stories of all kinds, ours or others, always trigger emotions. Stories either scare and sabotage you or encourage and support you. Once you realize that you are the creator of your story, you can make decisions and choices that allow life to expand in new ways.
So just how do we write the story of our life? It starts with familial and social input from the beginning of our time here which directly influences the way we view and interpret what is in front of us. If we go through life without questioning and challenging our assumptions, patterns, reactions and results, we can count on experiencing the same situations over and over again. The saying “If you always do what you always did, you always get what you always got” is the absolute truth.
What are you thinking, feeling and saying about the people, events and situations in front of you? Nothing in life has meaning until we ascribe meaning to it and in that very personal decision and judgment we create our unique story. Life always unfolds in direct response to the thoughts you think, the significance you assign to the events/situations you have experienced and to your expectations. By applying the power of curiosity (is what you see exactly what you want to see?) you can choose how you look at areas of your life with the intention of seeing and embracing its value so that you are leaning into positive change. Get conscious, your story is a choice!
Simply said, if you want a different outcome you have to be willing to tell a different story. You have to be bold enough to look closely at what you’ve been experiencing and what you say about it. By choosing to be accountable you can deconstruct old thoughts and patterns to reconstruct new ones. Here’s a good way to start:
• Choose an area of your life that makes you feel anxious, fearful or unhappy (Select an area that you most complain about and feel offended by people, events or circumstances)
• Spend some time writing down what you are currently telling yourself and others about that situation. (Be honest, no filtering; let the emotions run and let your story reveal itself)
• Continue writing now redirecting your focus to the outcome you really want to experience and how you want to feel. (Have some fun with this, wave your magic wand. If it could be any way you wanted, what would you say?)
• Choose one or two thoughts that you are willing to change to get a more desirable result and write them down. (Remember, you only see what you are looking for!)
• Commit to an attitude you can assume or action that you can take this week that invites you to specific positive change, record and celebrate your success, allow it to become a new strategy. (Raise your bar of self-expectation; if you do not expect to change, you have no chance of changing)
Be kind and gentle to yourself with the process of change. It’s important to note that the human nervous system is hard-wired to be more sensitive to negative signals of impending danger than to positive signals of burgeoning opportunities. Compound that with all that is happening locally and globally and it is no surprise that the average person is immersed in 80% negative self-talk, creating the stories that we’d rather not tell. But take heart, the new neurosciences clearly prove that our brains are extremely pliable and that we literally have the ability to re-wire and re-build them by proactively replacing old negative thoughts with new positive thoughts and actions.
You can re-train your brain with a new story … now that’s exciting!
The secret to truly empowering yourself is to deliberately get curious about your story. What is it that you want to say about your life? Is it difficult or easy? Filled with obstacles or opportunities? Are you surrounded by love or fear; those who support you or sabotage you? What will your emotional legacy be? It’s time to become more interested in what you do want rather than with what you don’t want. Remember, life doesn’t control you; you control life so write yourself a happy future … now!
