Excuses are all around us. We all have them, we all hear them, we all use them, and we all rely on them to keep ourselves safe, unchanged … and small. We apply excuses to ourselves, our behavior and personality, to other people, situations and outcomes. We even go as far as introducing and describing ourselves based on our personal, familial, societal and global excuses. We have something or someone to blame for just about everything. And the truth about all of our excuses is that they are based on our uniquely memorized emotions and reactions to our past experiences.
An excuse is an apology or justification that is used to release us from blame, responsibility, duty or obligation and if we’re not observant we think our excuses are our truth. Excuses take us out of our integrity, away from who we are at our core and into a victim mentality that spins us in drama, fear and what we don’t want. Excuses keep us rooted in old patterning, repeating the same stories and getting the same outcomes. We activate our negative imagination and choose offense, overwhelm, distraction and difficulty. Our excuses have us opting for the familiar and help us avoid the real work of facing our fears and going within to become who we really are. Excuses are copouts, looking at life through a limited lens, and the very way we scare, sabotage and stall ourselves.
Let’s make it personal! Your bottom line is simply this; staying attached to excuses keeps you from getting what you want.
It’s time to shine the light of awareness and curiosity on excuses and look at them in a whole new way. What if you shifted your perspective and looked at every excuse as an invitation? An invitation to what? An invitation to discover and embrace what you really want to be, do, say and have. An invitation to shift from contrast to clarity, from what you don’t want to what you do want. An invitation to look at each situation that causes you emotional discomfort as an opportunity to experience something new – with the trust and understanding that your life will truly be enhanced. Excuses really are invitations in disguise!
From an invitational perspective, excuses can be viewed as a way that you have seen yourself and allowed yourself to be, maintaining a familiar environment, until now. Your point of power lies in realizing that you are created to discover limitations and change and grow through them. The very things you’ve made excuses about have the ability to transform you. You are constantly being invited to know yourself in a new way that strengthens your spirit and supports and nurtures your life force.
Switching to the perspective of an invitation allows you to take ownership of every aspect of your life and do something positive about it. It is the true way to take your power back and get your needs met, first by yourself and then by others. Getting to know yourself on a more intimate level is very exhilarating and observing a personal transformation, no matter how big or small, fueled by your deliberate choice is both liberating and empowering.
Beginning to make the shift is easier than you think and can have a beautiful cascading effect in your life. It starts with observation and self reflection. Are you getting what you want and living the life you desire? If not, what are the reasons you tell yourself and others? Those are your excuses! Changing an excuse to an invitation begins with a willingness to change your mind, your perspective and your story. It requires that you get into positive probing dialogue with yourself. Think of the common excuse “it’s difficult” as an example:
Step 1 · Start with the questions “Is this true?” and “Do I want this to be true?”
Step 2 · Ignite your imagination and go to the feeling that accompanies the outcome you really do want; the result of “It’s easy!” or “It’s easier than I think!”
Step 3 · Identify a rational reason to change. What would your life look like if you could no longer use this excuse? What is your emotional payoff?
Step 4 · What new thought and action step is it time to embrace and take? Do it!
Step 5 · Look for new ways to continually reinforce your new way of thinking and being, and commit to long term results. Repetition reinforces sustainable change.
We live in a benevolent Universe where life is always conspiring on our behalf for our highest good and most vibrant well-being. Positive change is our best bet and birthright! Every one of us has the powerful ability to see and do things different than we ever have before. Begin today to switch your excuses to invitations, looking at life through a wider lens, cultivating a compassionate, meaningful and compelling relationship with yourself steeped in promise and possibilities!
